Midnight in the boneyard

Midnight is the time for skull and bone jewellery

It's midnight and Yorick the skull and I are staring at each other across the jeweller's workbench. Jules and Alex have finished unpacking the latest Swarovski delivery and left for the night. So it’s just me – Bone Mama – and Loki the Boneyard mascot who is fascinated by boxes – especially big mysterious boxes from Austria full of Swarovski skulls. The commercial coffee maker is making puffing noises (meaning it's blurted out one too many expressos and just wants to shut down) and Loki the ginormous Maine Coone cat is eyeballing Yorick and wondering if he's edible.

Yorick is a perfect Austrian specimen. He is the skull of skulls. Sleek black Swarovski perfection with an oil slick shine. The shape of his skull is a black pearl and his cheekbones could cut glass. I am lost in adoration, and all I can think is – "How am I going to hang you?"

Let me tell you, if Hamlet had ever met this skull he wouldn't have done his "Alas poor Yorick, I knew you well" whinge. He probably would have knelt in admiration. He would have thrown out his gold medallions and worn Yorick around his neck and lived happily ever after with Ophelia.

As if Yorick is reading my thoughts, I swear he adopts an even more arrogant expression. Of course being Austrian he isn't into Shakespeare. Gloomy Goethe is more his thing.

And I've obviously had one too many coffees. Hallucination quantities of caffiene:( Yorick has completely distracted me and I'm starting to expect a crystal skull to start quoting poetry.

Coz there's hanging business to be done tonight, and here I am gawking at a Swarovski skull as if it's the bust of Nefertiti.

Swarovski does boho - the ultimate skull jewellery

Loki swishes his tail and pounces at Yorick. He hates anybody but him getting adoring attention. I gasp in horror and grab the skull: he's as cold as marble and yet eerily warm at the same time. I imagine him hanging from my neck on the softest black leather choker. Would Yorick approve I wonder. Austrians and black leather – that's a Thing, isn't it?

I can definitely see him in black leather. Very retro. Very urban. Very Berlin. If you've ever seen the movie "The Night Porter" you'd know exactly what I mean. (Note to self: must watch Night Porter again wearing over the knee black boots and Yorick on a tight black choker.)

But then I imagine Yorick hanging from gold or silver and wow he would just ooze glamour, but the right kind of glamour - urban chic glamour very apropos for Her Lovely Bones urban look.

Even for a non-verbal skull Yorick is being particularly unhelpful. He thinks he’s beautiful just as he is, and he's right. Nothing can equal Swarovski crystal, and with the skull Swarovski have created the pinnacle of jewellery perfection.

But I've got a job to do. The guys will expect to see Swarovski skull jewellery pieces tomorrow. So leather or precious-metal? Which is it to be?

Yorick is still doing his 'I am Master of the Universe' stare and my jewellery muse isn’t helping at all. If I could trust the coffee machine not to explode I'd have another coffee. I'm not going to sleep anyway - Yorick will haunt my dreams.

The agony and ecstasy of jewellery design. Impossible decisions, arrogant Swarovski skulls, and a horde of buffalo bones waiting to be made into earrings. And then of course the most important thing - to remain true to the spirit of metro boho. Organic and yet edgy. Nature-based yet urban.

Loki looks at me with inscrutable feline pity that makes me feel about five years old. Silly human, why do you suffer? Why don't you just eat the skull, or bury it in the garden. Even dopey dogs have enough sense to bury bones. Then you can sleep in peace.

Cats own all the wisdom is the world, don't they?

Cat-scorn combined with skull arrogance is enough to wake my muse. A decision is made. It will be a leather AND metal AND bone hanging ceremony.

By dawn Yorick will be hanging on a black leather choker, and two more black skulls will suspend buffalo bones from my ears.

Organic and urban together. A perfect metro boho statement And I have exactly the right over the knee black boots to accompany the new designs…

Alas poor Yorick, but you're going to look just gorgeous…